The Urge to Run Away

A reflection on Elijah's choice to run away and hide out of fear and how it reflects our struggle to manage and deal with intense fear and pain. The truth is, we weren't created for a fallen world...no wonder we can feel this way sometimes...facing an overwhelming desire to escape - to run away and hide from the difficulty of life.

I know how Elijah felt when everything felt as though it was closing in around him, where all he wanted to do was run away. When the only way he felt that he could escape from the torment, difficulty and heavy emotions was to lay down and die.

I've been there.

Heck, I am there...as are so many people.

The pain of life sometimes feels unbearable. The loss, the torment, the betrayal, the abandonment, the rejection can make you feel so alone. It can feel like such an overwhelming feeling. It can feel utterly inescapable.

1 Kings 19:1-18

1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

Even when we are serving the Lord, we are not exempt from pain and suffering. Sorry to break it to you. Life still goes on. Evil still resides among us.

But sometimes the fear and the pain feels beyond us. It feels like too much to bear, too much to handle. So much so, where the only logical thought that we have - and a burning desire within us - is to run away, to escape it, to do anything to get away from it.

Elijah left his servant too. Much of the time, when we face some of the heaviest burdens and pain, we feel the urge to leave our friends and community and run away from them too. It's not unusual that you might feel this urge - Elijah felt it too!

We were not originally intended to face such darkness, pain and suffering. We weren't created for a fallen world. It was not God's design. Instead, we were created for the Garden, to live in peace and harmony with God. No wonder we want to escape the intense pain of life.

Many want to escape it because we were not originally designed for such a dark world.

Friend, let's be real. I feel like I've been where Elijah is so many times. Fighting the urge to run away, fighting the urge to isolate myself, fighting the urge to withdraw, asking God to end the pain.

But, what I love about Elijah's story and ours too, is that God meets us here, in our deepest pain. He may not remove it, but He looks after us and cares for us. As He sent an angel to Elijah, He sends us people to support us and care for us when we are weak. He renews our strength and gives us what we need to keep going. He doesn't rush in the process, but He tends to our needs. He allows us to rest, He allows us to feel the pain, and hurt, and tension.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

Then, when He knows that we are ready, He strengthens us more for the journey ahead and He provides us with refuge and safety.

7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.

God meets us in the Secret Place, and He wants to know what we are thinking and feeling. He wants our honest, pure hearts. When we run away and withdraw, He will be faithful to ask us prompting questions to receive the honest truth and will give us the directions to move forward and push past our pain.

The Lord Appears to Elijah

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

15 The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

I love that God is not in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire. But He is in the gentle whisper. We can often expect Him to speak to us in grand ways. But, the quietness of His voice is a gentle comfort that forces us to tune our ears to hear Him.

Here, at the mouth of the cave, God directs Elijah to return, giving Him the next steps in His journey. He strengthens Him, provides Him with courage and assurance and directs Him on the way to go.

Friend, I am so sorry for the areas where you have experienced such hurt, pain and suffering that has led you to want to run away, hide and escape. I am sorry that the weight of it feels unbearable. I am sorry that the pain is so deep that it feels as though you cannot live another day.

But friend, I PROMISE you that whilst it may be a journey of healing, God WILL meet you in it. God WILL tend to your needs. God WILL renew your strength and give you the sustenance to keep going and push through. He WILL speak to your heart. He WILL provide you with direction and new vision.

I really feel the Lord's heart as I write this post. That this was not the way He intended it to be. That is saddens Him deeply to see His children suffering, to see them in such inescapable pain. But I just know that He is so faithful to meet us in and heal us from our pain. He is so faithful to give us new strength. He is so loving, kind and gentle.

So, trust in Him friend and be honest with the way you feel. He will provide direction and He will love you through the dark times.