Oh, my heart; what do you want?

A poem from a bewildered, struggling heart trying to understand its true desires before the world introduced confusion and altered what it yearned for.

Oh, my heart –

So deceitful and desperate.

What is it that you want?

You change your mind like the seasons,

to-ing and fro-ing,

chasing one desire, then another.

But tell me,

what have you always wanted?

What have you sought after

since before the beginning of time?

“The Lord—

the One who sits on high,

who made me and keeps me.

Oh, to know Him—

that is my desire,

deep within my core.”

Oh, my heart.

It doesn’t surprise me

that you long for your Maker—

the One who gave you life,

who beats the rhythm of your drum.

But, heart, oh, my heart,

I have heard whispers,

rumours in the wind,

of other desires placed in you,

burning since birth.

I have heard they search,

they hunger,

like a child reaching for its mother.

These cravings cry out to be fed,

never satisfied

until they’ve met their match.

I’ve come to believe

this hunger is what drives you—

compelling you to sing,

causing you to weep.

Just as you crave your Maker,

you crave the taste of earthly blessings.

So, tell me,

oh, poor, desperate heart—

what is it you desire,

untouched, unswayed by the world?

“Well, since you ask so kindly,

let me tell you what I long for.

I long for my Maker—

my King, my Saviour.

I long for intimacy—

with Him,

and with the helper He gave me.

I long for purpose—

a place to use my gifts,

a way to glorify my Creator.

I long to be known,

to hold significance,

somewhere, to someone.

I long to be filled—

with peace, with joy—

free, lacking nothing.

I know what they say:

I’m desperate and deceitful.

But listen to me, I plead.

I have been deceived—

tricked into searching for fulfilment

in all the wrong places.

That’s the reason,

I seem to not know what I want.

That is why,

I to and fro.

But, my vessel, I ask you—

tell me who my Maker is.

Then you will no longer say,

‘Oh, heart, deceitful and desperate,’

but proclaim,

‘Oh, heart, stable and secure.’

For if I find Him,

all I long for,

all I desire,

will finally be satisfied.

I will be filled—

no longer searching,

no longer confused,

no longer lost.

And as I know Him,

He will reorient my heart,

turning me toward Him—

until everything I desire

overflows from His great abundance.”

Psalm 37:4

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.