laid down life.
- Angelique Wilson
- Aug 23, 2024
- 2 min read
This is not the life I dreamed of, nor the future I once hoped for.
But it is the life that God has entrusted to me.
It is the life that He has given to me, not for me, but for you.
It is the cruciform life – the life laid down.
It is the life where I carry my cross, daily, to bring the promise of hope and resurrection to others.
It is the life where I may not get my way, but where Jesus is the Way and He makes a way through.
In just over 30 days, I dreamed of dressing myself in beautiful white, and walking down the aisle into a new beginning – into a ‘better’ future.
Yet, I sit here, in the stillness of His presence, my heart poured out as a sacred offering, as I grieve the ways that I had planned for myself.
I sit still and let Him fight for me. Let Him fight with the strength I no longer possess.
I wrestle with anger and frustration, striving not to allow unforgiveness to bubble to the surface or choke my pure and loving heart to death.
I unfold. I break. I unravel. I lay down. I surrender.
This is not the life I want to live, but it’s the life He is shaping and forming and redeeming and renewing and restoring for His glory.
It is the broken vessel that He is filling with Himself; the fractured vessel He is using to shine His light in all the dark places.
This is the surrendered life - the life that declares, “Your will be done, not mine.”
The life that battles against human flesh and wayward desires, to follow the narrow road that leads to a broad and expansive life.
It is the life that is broken, so that others’ can be built up.
It is the life where He proclaims, “I trust you to carry the weight of My glory. I trust you to endure the trial, to help carry your brothers and sisters out of darkness into My Kingdom of Light.”
It is the life where He whispers, “I AM showing you the Way, so that you can be The Way.”
It is not the life I would have chosen, but it is The Way that I will always choose.
Comments